Originally published on Psychology Today
Even vacation can feel like work when you’re the one keeping the wheels turning
School’s out. Your work calendar might even lighten up a bit. But you’re still not feeling more relaxed and refreshed. Instead of slow mornings and calm evenings, you’re juggling: camp forms, sunscreen re-applications, snack distribution, towel logistics, sibling arguments, and the internal debate about whether screen time counts as “enrichment.”
You might even experience the invisible guilt of not doing enough summer memory-making.
And while your family may technically be on vacation, your mental load never clocks out. The logistics might look different in summer, but the mental juggling act? That stays—and often intensifies.
The Myth of the Summer Reset
There’s a cultural idea that summer is a time to recharge—lazy days, frozen drinks, golden-hour joy. But for many high-achieving women, it’s not a vacation. It’s a rebrand of the same overcommitment we carry all year.
You’re still the one remembering everything. Planning everything. Holding everyone else’s experience in your brain like a giant checklist. And it’s exhausting.
Why High-Achieving Women Struggle to Slow Down
You’ve been conditioned to be competent, responsible, efficient. When you’re the one who “can handle it,” it becomes hard to imagine stepping away. And when the world praises you for doing it all, stepping back feels like dropping the ball. You tell yourself you should be enjoying this. You should feel grateful. But it’s hard to feel present when your brain is running every possible outcome like a travel agent meets security guard meets therapist.
article continues after advertisement
So How Do You Actually Lighten the Load?
- Name the Mental Load
If no one else sees what you’re carrying, spell it out. Make it visible. “I’m not just tired—I’m doing 17 things behind the scenes so this BBQ happens.” - Share the Planning (Not Just the Doing)
Asking for help after you’ve already figured it all out keeps the burden on you. Let others share in the planning—not just the execution. - Create Real Rest Windows
Stop saving rest for the end of summer. Put small, regular breathers into your week that are just for you—not for productivity or memory-making. - Don’t Perform the Perfect Summer
You’re not a cruise director. You’re a human. Some days will be boring. Some days will fall apart. That’s not failure—that’s life.
You Deserve a Summer Too
It’s not selfish to want a break. It’s not unreasonable to feel tired. The mental load doesn’t magically disappear with the school bell—in fact, it often gets heavier because you become the center of all planning and entertainment
This summer, give yourself permission to need space, ask for help, and release the idea that joy means managing everyone else’s.
If you’re overloaded and it’s leading to exhaustion, consider grabbing my anti-overwhelm tool – A checklist that helps you answer “Should I Do This?” Get it here.
