Ask yourself these questions to end your year energized—Not burned out
With the chaos of back-to-school season in the rear-view, both for me as a university professor and for my school-age kids, October feels like the perfect time to catch my breath.
It’s like the quiet before the storm. The HolidaysTM are coming and, like most women, I take on the majority of the shopping, cooking, and remembering all the theme days at school (looking at you, “ugly sweater” day) from Halloween to New Year’s.
This year, what if we used the October pause as a time to reflect? Instead of waiting for New Year’s resolutions to make a change, imagine starting right now. It’s the perfect time to re-evaluate your priorities, align your actions to your values, and maybe even enjoy the season ahead.
Here are four reflection prompts to consider that can help you enter 2026 already feeling calm, grounded, and proud of how you spent your time, rather than staggering over the finish line desperate to make a change.
Source: Jakob Ownens / Unsplash / Used with Permission
1. Are you evaluating success based on productivity or purpose?
We tend to measure our year by what we’ve accomplished. Instead, as we move into quarter four, let’s reflect on the degree to which our time was spent in alignment with our values.
Your values are what give your life meaning; they serve as a compass for how you want to show up at work, for the people you care about, and for yourself. Most of us value things like growth, creativity, integrity, connection, or making a real impact. However, when life gets busy, it’s easy to lose sight of them and focus on what’s right in front of us: the full inbox, the errands that have to be run, or tasks that are piling up.
Ask yourself: What do I actually value at work? In my relationships? For myself? What would it look like if my actions reflected those priorities more consistently? As we move into the holidays, a values-aligned mindset might mean letting go of the pressure to find the perfect present for everyone on your list and instead focusing on spending time together.
Take action: Take a few minutes to make two short lists.
1. What you’re ready to let go of this quarter: obligations, comparisons, or “shoulds” that drain your energy
2. What do I want to lean into: certain relationships, projects that light you up, and opportunities that stretch you in meaningful ways.
It’s a simple exercise, but seeing it on paper can clarify where your energy is best spent, and help you enter the new year feeling fulfilled, not depleted.
2. What stories are you telling yourself that might be limiting your joy?
Even the most successful women carry limiting beliefs around with them. These are the scripts we’ve absorbed over time that shape how we see ourselves and what we can expect from those around us. A self-limiting belief might look like “If I don’t do it, it won’t get done right,” or “If I rest, I’ll fall behind.” Often, we’re so used to having these thoughts bouncing around in our heads that we simply accept them as fact. Unfortunately, they maintain the perfectionism that causes burnout.
Ask yourself: What assumptions about success, worth, or control have been guiding my choices this year? Are they helping me grow or keeping me stuck in old patterns?
Take action: Write down one belief that consistently leads to pressure or guilt, then reframe it into something truer and more compassionate.
For example, that belief “If I don’t do it, it won’t get done right” could be reframed to “Delegating creates space for me to spend more time on what’s most important to me” (refer to reflection question #1).
As the holidays draw closer, maybe you’ll notice thoughts like “Everything has to be perfect or the kids will be disappointed.” Try reframing it to “What people remember most is how it feels to be together—not the color coordinated wrapping paper.”
3. How often are you truly present for the moments that matter?
Even when your body is physically present, your mind is often stuck in a loop of replaying past conversations or anticipating the next task. Unfortunately, being in your own head steals your joy. You miss out on what’s happening right in front of you like the smell of your coffee, the joy on your kid’s face when you actually say yes to playing Uno this time, the feeling of the sun on your face as you walk your dog around the block. Presence isn’t just about slowing down; it’s about intentionally directing your attention toward what gives life meaning.
Ask yourself: When was the last time I felt fully engaged in what I was doing without checking my phone or mentally drafting my next email? What helps me return to that sense of grounded focus?
Take action: Choose one daily activity—drinking your morning coffee, driving, bedtime with your kids and make it your cue to focus on the present. Each time you do it, take a breath and bring your full attention to the moment. Research shows even a few minutes of intentional awareness can lower stress and increase satisfaction throughout your day.
Take Aways and Support
Don’t let October become just a pitstop to cram in all your self-care between back-to-school and the holidays. Ask yourself whether you’re prioritizing your values or your to-do list, if you have self-limiting beliefs that take you farther from the person you want to be, and whether you could increase your joy by spending more time in the present.
If you want more guidance on how to turn these reflection questions in this post into action, get instant access to my free masterclass: From Exhausted to Energized.