Maybe she’s born with it? That’s what many of us think when we see a woman confidently decline a request without overexplaining. Or when we see her speak up with clarity about a new idea without vetting it by polling friends and trying to predict every possible outcome.
When most people think of confidence, they imagine it as a trait that some people are just born with. But confidence is actually built on data; the more you take the leap and successfully do something outside of your comfort zone, the more confidence you’ll have in yourself to do it again.
At the heart of developing confidence is self-efficacy, a psychological concept introduced by Albert Bandura (1977). Self-efficacy refers to your belief in your ability to organize and execute the actions needed to manage future situations. In other words, confidence you can handle it.
Proven strategies to increase self-efficacy
Quick wins through values-aligned actions
Research on self-efficacy shows that small “mastery experiences,” moments where you succeed at something meaningful, are the strongest way to grow confidence (Maddox, 2009). Choosing even one small step that reflects your values provides immediate evidence that you can move forward, which builds momentum for bigger challenges. Pick values-aligned activities like taking a break when you’re working from home to walk your dog around the block when, ordinarily, you don’t get up from your desk all day. The more success you have, the more you’ll feel confident in yourself to keep moving forward.
Behavioral experiments that generate evidence
Another effective way to strengthen confidence is to treat your fears like hypotheses. Behavioral experiments are when you deliberately test a worry in real life. They let you collect data on what actually happens. If you’re convinced that saying “no” will damage your relationships, or that speaking up in a meeting will backfire – well, there’s only one way to find out for sure. A single experiment can show you that your worst case scenario never comes to fruition. Each piece of data gets filed away in your memory, gradually reshaping your beliefs about your capabilities.
Reframing self-limiting beliefs
Confidence also depends on how you interpret challenges. Our thoughts have a powerful impact on how we feel and behavior. So, if you’re telling yourself “it won’t work,” or “I’ll embarrass myself,” it’s less likely you’ll take the leap to collect the data you need to trust yourself. Practice reframing negative thoughts about your own abilities by shifting from “If I fail, it will be a disaster” to “If I fail, I’ll learn something useful.” This mental flexibility allows you to approach challenges with more openness and less fear, which in turn fuels greater self-efficacy.
Anchoring in the present
Finally, practicing mindfulness is another proven strategy to help build confidence. Mindfulness means staying in the present moment by connecting with what’s actually happening right now – not what happened in the past or could happen in the future. Thus, instead of replaying past mistakes or predicting future disasters, present-moment awareness brings your focus to what you can control right now. When you anchor in the present, you approach challenges calmly and clearly—an essential ingredient of authentic confidence.
Beyond Pep Talks and Passive Support
Most of us are familiar with the surface level “positive affirmations” that bombard us when we scroll social media. Mantras like “believe in yourself” or “good vibes only” are problematic because they forward the idea that confidence is something you can manifest just by thinking positively. And when that doesn’t work, you might assume you’re just not a confident person.
Instead, combining evidence-based skills with structured opportunities to practice is what reliably builds confidence.
Take Away & Next Steps
Confidence isn’t something you wait to show up before you take the leap. Confidence is something you intentionally cultivate. By grounding in the present, reframing unhelpful thoughts, and running small behavioral experiments, you collect evidence that rewires your beliefs about what you’re capable of.
Ready to start building your confidence evidence base with…evidence-based tools? Check out my Clarity. Confidence. Spacious Success Program.
