If you’re anything like me, the phrase “work-life balance” can feel like an impossible goalpost. It’s this alluring idea we’re all sold: If we just organize better, try harder, or wake up earlier, we’ll finally find that perfect equilibrium between thriving at work; raising happy, healthy kids; maintaining a loving relationship; staying fit; and having a social life —oh, and don’t forget self-care!
But let’s be real: Chasing balance often leaves us feeling more burnt out and stuck than ever. Why is that? Why do we, as high-achieving women, feel like we’re failing even when we’re doing everything? Here’s the truth: The problem isn’t you. It’s the myth of work-life balance itself.
The Myth of Balance: It’s About Perfection, Not Fulfillment
The concept of work-life balance is rooted in the belief that every part of your life should get equal attention, all the time. It paints this picture of a perfectly balanced scale where no area—career, family, friends, or personal goals—is tipping too far. Sounds lovely, right?
As high achievers, we’re drawn to the idea of “having it all.” We want fulfilling careers, strong relationships, well-behaved kids, and meaningful hobbies. And because we’re capable, we often believe we should be able to juggle it all.
But the truth is, “having it all” often just feels like too much. When you’re trying to excel in every area simultaneously, there’s no room to breathe, let alone reflect on whether your current priorities actually align with what matters most to you.
Think about it: Are you filling your calendar with commitments that truly light you up? Or are you saying yes out of obligation, fear of judgment, or a desire to prove you can handle it all? The relentless pursuit of balance can distract us from what we actually need to feel fulfilled.
The Shift: From Balance to Alignment
So, what’s the alternative? Instead of striving for balance, aim for alignment. Alignment isn’t about equal distribution of effort; it’s about ensuring your time and energy go toward what genuinely matters to you in this season of life.
Ask yourself:
- What is most important to me right now? (Hint: It can’t be everything.)
- Which areas of my life feel aligned with my values, and which don’t?
- What commitments or goals am I pursuing out of guilt or external pressure?
When you prioritize alignment, you give yourself permission to focus deeply on what’s meaningful without the guilt of neglecting other areas. For example, if you’re in a season where your career is thriving but your social life feels quieter, that’s OK. Alignment recognizes that life ebbs and flows.
Three Steps to Get Out of the Balance Trap
If the idea of alignment resonates, here’s how to start shifting your mindset:
1. Define Your Core Values
Take a step back and ask yourself what truly matters to you. Is it connection? Creativity? Stability? Achievement? Knowing your core values can help you evaluate whether your current commitments reflect those priorities or are pulling you off course.
2. Audit Your Calendar
Look at the next two weeks of your schedule. For each commitment, ask:
- Does this align with my current priorities?
- Am I doing this out of obligation, or does it truly serve me or my family?
- What can I delegate, postpone, or let go of entirely?
Clearing space for what matters most is one of the quickest ways to feel less overwhelmed.
3. Embrace “Seasons” of Focus
Give yourself permission to lean into different priorities at different times. For instance, if you’re pouring energy into a big work project, let yourself off the hook for hosting elaborate dinners or attending every PTA meeting. Trust that another season will come when you can shift your focus.
You Don’t Have to Do It All
As a fellow overachiever, I’ll admit: Letting go of the idea of balance isn’t easy. But it’s also freeing. When you stop chasing perfection and start aligning your life with your true priorities, you’ll find that you’re not just busy—you’re fulfilled.
So, let’s stop trying to “have it all” and start asking, “What do I really want right now?” You might be surprised by how much lighter, clearer, and more joyful life feels when you give yourself permission to focus on what truly matters.
Want a tool to help you live more in alignment with your purpose – without adding more to your plate? You can get started by checking out my free Growth Roadmap Workbook.